A national survey of 15,000 children by the charity Brake and business insurance specialist QBE finds that almost nine in 10 children (86%) think drivers go too fast around their homes and schools.
Shockingly, one in 10 children (10%) say they have been knocked down while walking or cycling; a further 56% have had a near miss, and a further 16% have had a frightening experience.
This is clearly an attack by these pint-sized malcontents on the rights of the motorist. It's quite simple, children, listen carefully. You belong inside where it's safe, or in your parents' car. You shouldn't be outside on your own. You could cause a DREADFUL ACCIDENT! Walking and especially cycling are to be avoided at all costs. What a damning indictment on today's parents, that they let these terrible accidents continue. Think of the trauma caused to the poor old driver who after a moment's inattention caused by an important phone call is viciously struck by an uncontrollable child (in dark clothing probably) jaywalking in the motor-road!