Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Christopher Booker goes to the doctor...

Well-known climate-change-denier Christopher Booker goes to the doctor.

Doctor: I'm sorry to have to tell you this Mr Booker, but you have cancer.

Booker: Really?

Doctor: Yes. You'll need surgery and chemotherapy.

Booker: Sounds painful. And expensive. I really haven't got the time or the money for it. I'm saving for a new car...

Doctor: You won't live to drive a new car if you don't have treatment. If you don't have treatment, you'll die.

Booker: Are you sure?

Doctor: Yes. Almost certainly.

Booker: I read somewhere that chemotherapy doesn't work.

Doctor: I assure you it does.

Booker: In any case, I'm feeling fine today. I don't think I have cancer. I think you've got it wrong.

Doctor: The tests are conclusive. Anyway, when you last came in, you were complaining about feeling exhausted.

Booker: The tests have been falsified. In any case I've felt exhaused before. Many times before. Just because I feel exhausted doesn't mean I have cancer. I had a large spot on my nose when I felt exhausted. That's probably why.

Doctor: I really don't think so. It's imperative you get treatment -

Booker: Oh, I get it. You own shares in the drug companies, don't you? You're going to make money if I have treatment!

Doctor: No. You need treatment. Otherwise you'll die.

Booker: I'll die anyway. Dying is a natural process. It's got nothing to do with cancer. Cancer is natural - a cancer is just a growth. You're just scaremongering. People have been dying throughout history.

Doctor: (pointing to bookshelf) I have lots of books written by experts that explain the science behind cancer - how it's caused, what its effects are, how it can be treated. You're welcome to read them.

Booker: All those people are in on the conspiracy? This has to be the biggest hoax ever perpetrated!

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